Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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