Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
