The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
