By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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