You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
