You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
