If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
