Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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