idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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