Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
