I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
