idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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