Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
