Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Your penis caused this!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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