thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
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Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
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We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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