It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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