Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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