yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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