i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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