I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
