I accidentally had phone sex last night
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
