dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
