Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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