in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize