I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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