Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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