Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
