Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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