You're so nebulous sometimes
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
