im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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