I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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