peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
