I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
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I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
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Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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