So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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