dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I believe in your delicious
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
