awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
