What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
