I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
