He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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