what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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