we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
