Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I need a burrito and a hug.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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