I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
literally had 100 drinks last night.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
