She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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