This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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