is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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