I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
