Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
3 2 1 whiskey
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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