you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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