i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
