we have officially lost it.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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