i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
