Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
