Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
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Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
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i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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