Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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