I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize