we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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