i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
