apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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