dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
