I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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