I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
