This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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