Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
A bitchslap is in order.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize