All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
