Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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