benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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