the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
