it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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