Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he puts the penis in happiness.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
