i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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