just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
