You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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